


Why can't I be OP!!! ;(

by Iyawolfwhite



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Play, Anxiety, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Collars, Crying, Depression, Language, M/M, Slow Build, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27194399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iyawolfwhite/pseuds/Iyawolfwhite
Summary: So, I had a Hisoka/ Illumi dream the other night and could not get it out of my head and so here this is. The Italicized  writing is the OC's thoughts. This is manly to get it out of my head and I do plan on updating my other fic i just have been re-reading it to and with a promotion at work I have had a lot less time.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/ Illumi Zoldyck/ OC, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

Why can’t I be OP

So why do all the anime and manga have it to where whenever someone gets sent to another world or dropped into their game that they get to be totally OP because right now I am feeling anything but OP. The last thing that I remembered was that I had just finished the new movies of Hunter X Hunter that I had gotten and then went to bed for work the next day. Then next thing I know is that I wake up standing in the hunter exam room from season one! I of course was excited and tried to change things around in my mind to get them to go the way that I wanted. Hisoka and Illumi never noticed me!! 

Then Tonpa came over and offered me a drink. Not wanting to take a chance to embarrass myself in front of hot men I declined his offer but did shake his hand. He had a surprisingly strong grip once he finally left. I tried counting backward from one hundred and seeing how I have made it down to fifty I am very concerned. Trying not to freak out I started to pinch myself and nothing happened.

“Okay, now I can freak out!! What the hell is going on here, why am I not waking up and what have I gotten myself into. For a life long weeb who has dreamed of my own version of SAO happening to me this was both cool and terrifying because I am a 5’4’ twink that has daddy issues!! What the hell am i supposed to do now!!??” That when I look up and see Gon and the rest of the party coming in. Looking around quickly trying to think of something to do because the only thing I could think of is to follow the story plot. 

“But how do I follow a story plot about crazily fit people and monsters? Come on think, I have watched this series so many times, what can I do? I can’t as Gon and them cause that would be weird to ask a kid about my size to carry me. Leorio almost dies any way on his way through and Kurapika wouldn’t do it.” This is when I heard the man scream from getting his arms cut off by Hisoka. Looking up I watched as Hisoka walked over to the disguised Illumi to talk.

“Hisoka is really strong and I only weighed like 120lb last I checked. Then again I have no insentive for him other then being more then willing to fuck him in a heart beat. Illumi on the other hand has a lot of family drama that I can try to work with. I can’t threaten him or I just die so how do I black mail a murderer and get away with it. Well first thing first, where is the fat kid with the computer?” Looking around really quickly I found the kid and asked to borrow the pen he had and some paper. Quickly writing down the name of Alluka I give the booklet back before running over to where they are talking. I do a quick check of myself. I see that I am in a light pinkish red pair of tennis shoes and skinny blue jeans. My shirt was a purple Doctor Who shirt that had the police box on it and I can only guess that my hair is still, hopefully blonde and my eyes still green.They stopped talking and looked at me. Hisoka and Illumi, even the way he looked now, made my pants a little uncomfortable. I have fantasized about them way too much. 

“I swear this is not a threat, this is me begging you for your help because I have know idea how I got here or why I am here. Though for some reason I know a lot of information about a lot of things that I probably shouldn’t. I know that both of you are more than able to kill me if you wanted to. llumi, I am begging you to help me through to the last round.” I said as I bowed to Illumi and helped out the paper to him, hoping that I would not die for this stunt.

Illumi took the paper from my hand and opened it before quickly reaching out to wrap his hands around my neck. Choking as he lifted me up I could feel what I was assumed to be his blood list. He pulls me closer to him looking me straight in the eye.

“ Who are you and where did you hear of this?” He asked as I gasped for air.

“I..I told you I woke up here with no memory...of how I got here. I know things I shouldn’t. I know stuff about Hisoka too. Please, I’m begging you both to help me to the last task. If we get somewhere private I will talk… but it’s not safe here.” I said as I choked for air.

“ Now I am regretting not getting into the choking kink because as scared as I have been getting I am also kind of getting hard off of it as well.” I thought as Illumi through some to the ground. 

“ Please, I am physically weak, I have no idea where I am or how I got here but I know I have to get to the end of this thing. I am literally no threat to either of you. I promise once we are alone I tell you what I know. You can kill me if you want.” Choking and struggling to catch air still took another chance to plead with them to help me.

“Well, I’m certainly curious as to what made my dear friend here so angry. I am also quite curious about what you could have on me.” Hisoka said as he leaned down to become face-to-face with me. His eyes assessed me from head to toe with a devilish smirk on his lips. Once he reached my waist, his eyes stayed on me before looking up slightly and licking his lips.

“ Crap he totally knows I have a boner.” I thought quickly, pulling my legs together and trying to cover my crotch with my hands. My face lit on fire and I tried to look anywhere but at them.

“ Well what do you say? I think I want to keep him around to find out what you’re hiding from me.” Hisoka said. Illumi quickly turned around to glare at Hisoka. 

“ Now don’t give me that look. I’ll pay you to make it interesting, you keep the kids safe until the final task andI’ll give you half of what you charge for a normal job.” IIlumi just stared at him for a few minutes and before he could say anything the proctor came into the room to explain the task.

Once everyone started moving I stood up on my shaky legs and was about to ask one more time if they would help. However, before a single word could cross my lips I found myself pulled off my feet and Illumi’s arm under my stomach just letting me hang at his side.

“ This is so embarrassing. I can’t believe I have been carried like this. Why couldn’t I have had some kind of OP nen move and why can’t I be carried like a princess instead of a bag of trash!!!!” Finally, after what felt like hours and my ribs are killing me, I decided if I was going to die. Then I would die the twink with daddy issues that I am.

“ Hey, I’m super happy that you are not killing me right now and all but I am baby. Your super strong arms are bruising my baby soft skin and I feel like I am going to be sick if I have to keep looking at everything from this angle. Can you please hold me like a princess or even potato sack at this point would work! I am really going to be sick.” I said, looking down at the ground and seriously considering being motion sick just out of spite. Then after a minute of silence and another sharp jerk as my position was changed to being through over his shoulder.

Groaning, I take a minute to adjust myself and catch my breath without it hurting as much. Finally, taking a moment to appreciate Illumi’s ass from this point of view and wishing I could get my mouth on him. Quickly looking to the side I can see Hisoka looking at me with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Well, what are you looking at like that? You look like a kid that just walked into a candy store.” Hisoka said with a laughing smirk, causing me to pout my lips a bit. 

“Well, I am not going to lie, I really don’t think it is in my best interest to do so anyway. Just don’t get upset when you don’t like what you two hear.” I said as I shifted a little to the side Hisoka was on that way I would not have to talk as loud and he seemed to understand, moving closer to me.

“I was thinking that he has such a nice ass from this view and that he must work really hard to keep it so hard and well shaped. I would also be very happy to bury my face in his cheeks and never come out again. I was also thinking that yours wasn’t that bad either from this view. If either of you decide you want to… release some tension while we are going through the exams then please let me show you what someone without a gag reflex can do. I think I have literally dreamt of being double teamed by you both.” I said as I spoke I felt Illumi’s stride change a bit from where he was on his back.

“Oh, is our little freeloader a dirty talker? I feel like you could be some fun, I might have to take you up on that offer. After all, I am paying quite a lot to keep you alive am I not.” Hisoka said and I noticed some of the adults spreading out further from us as we talked.

“Well I am not really a person who supports prostitution of ones self or others but the way I figure it I will be dyng either from this exam or form one of you. So, if I am going to die anyway I myizwell enjoy whatever kind of fucked up SAO version of my life that this is before being murdered. Honestly, the past 4yrs has been a really dry spell for me and I am very excitable if you have not noticed.” I told Hisoka as he came to run behind us, his hand reaching out under my chin to make sure I looked at him as I talked causing me to blush bright red by the end of it.

“Well, I really hope that we get to talk in private soon. For now though it looks like there's a light at the end of the tunnel.” Hisoka said before sprinting back to run just in front of Illumi.


	2. Starting the second Exam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if anyone is interested in being a beta.

Throughout my talk with Hisoka, Illumi never really said anything but I could feel his body stiffen up after talking about him. So, deciding not to push my luck I just stay still on his shoulder as Hisoka kills the monkey and for the rest of the trip through the forest praying my chest won't be purple by the end of it. Though, before Hisoka could split off I did ask him to get me a bag or pack of some kind since I had nothing and would need something to carry stuff with because I never saw any of the people eat in the third exam so I would be packing to go. Upon reaching the next site I was promptly thrown down off the side of the group and Illumi was crouched down by me.

“ Now listen here I am going along with this game of Hisoka’s because I also want to know how you knew what you did. this is as private as it’s going to get for a while, so start talking.” Illumi said.

“ I'll talk with you just sit down so the others stop looking over here, please.” After a minute he sat down by my side looking over the crowd to see who was paying attention.

“ I promise, I really don’t mean any harm to your family. As far as I know I shouldn't be here. I was going to bed early for work and the next thing I know I am waking up in a dark corner in the exam room like I said before. However, I don’t remember a lot of details from before waking up. Though I do seem to know things about people I shouldn’t know. I have this feeling like I have to make it to the final exam with everyone. If I don’t follow the storyline that I somehow see laid out before me I don’t think I will live.” I tried to make it seem like I had some kind of amnesia or some kind of ability to just know things like Luna in all the HP fanfics that I have read.

Taking a deep breath to still my nerves I reached a hand out and took Illumi’s hand in mine. Hoping to form some type of attachment other than Hisoka paying him. He looked at me like I was crazy and at this point I had to agree.

“I don’t know what is going on here but I want you to know that I am sorry for the things I said about you if it made you uncomfortable. I was telling Hisoka the truth about having dreamed of you both before this and they mostly always ended with myself being spooned by you both. I don’t know if it is the dreams or these weird thoughts or the fact that I have no place knowing this stuff but the reason I chose you is because I think Killua takes after you more than you know. Or, at least I hope so.” I said to myself as I looked over into the group of people standing around trying to catch a glimpse of killua. It seems that Illumi heard me because the next thing I know I am pinned to the ground with his hand back on my throat. In his time though he was not squeezing tightly to choke me but the threat was obviously there.

“ What did you say about him?”Illumi asked.

“ Look, I don't know how to explain it but I get this feeling that you and he are not completely different. I feel like...no I know you both are similar. There is this little voice in the back of my head telling me that Killua is just searching for something. However, Illumi, you have already found your something. What he is doing right now it’s just him trying to grow up and become stronger.” I said as a soul he moved my hands up to rest them on Illumi’s face. Trying to make it a point to look him in the eyes. His face scrunched up and he rolled off of me and just sat where he was previously. 

“ Tell me about you, starting with your name.”

“ Well, since I don’t remember how I got into the exam I don’t know if I gave a different name but where I’m from my name is Aya Wytte. I recently turned 20 and have a dead end job. No family claims me because I am a hard core gay person and unless you want all the depressing life details that’s about all I have.”

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I slowly stood up in case he would try to stop me. I started to walk around a bit and I noticed that I was also being watched by many of the other contestants. After a few minutes of walking around I finally saw Hisoka come out of the woods carrying Leorio. I walked over to where Hisoka threw him down by the tree.

“Hey, Hisoka, did you have a fun playing instructor?” I asked as I knelt down by Leorio to check on him.

“ Oh I most certainly did. However, I am curious to know how you find out about my little game dear.“ Hisoka asked as he leaned down over me.

“I told you that I know things. Why don’t you go check on our friend? I think I may have upset him. I will stay here until the next task begins to make sure this one is OK. I also want to meet his friends, I feel like they’re important.” Once he seemed satisfied he toasted me a bag that kind of looked like an off shoulder laptop bag which would be great for what I was going to need. I sat by Leorio after checking his jaw as Hisoka walked off.

“ Hey, what are you doing to him?”

“ Oh, I think you are Killua right? I heard you and the green head kid, Gon I think, talking once we got out of that tunnel. I saw Hisoka bring… Leorio and set him down so I figured I would wait for his friend to make sure he was OK. What about you?” I asked as I patted the ground next to me inviting him to sit.

“Nothing, just waiting for Gon to get here for the next task. What’s up with you, Hisoka, and that weird guy anyway?”He said but did not sit down.

“You know if you’re worried you could always just ask. I honestly don’t know how I came to be in the exam but for some reason around certain people I get this really strong feeling about them. And those two gave off the strongest but scariest feeling. However, I have never been one to listen to reason, so I went over to them and begged them to help me. It was honestly really embarrassing. They wanted to kill me. I was really annoying them but thankfully Hisoka likes to play games. So, he is just using me at this point to see how crazy I can drive his friend.” I said as I checked on Leorio once more, turning my back Killua, patting Leorio on the shoulder to try and wake him slowly.

“You know that is kind of weird to you know. Why didn’t you just leave the exam?”

“Well, like I said, sometimes I get this feeling and that tells me to finish the exam. So, here I am, doing what I can to finish the tests. Speaking of feelings I have a feeling that you and Gon are going to be the best of friends. Even Leorio and Kurapika will be good for you. So, make sure that you let them be kind with you.” I said turning back around to face him only for him to call out Gon and Kurapika. So, I looked back at Leorio seeing him wake up.

“Hey, good to see you awake. I was worried Hisoka hit you too hard.” I said to Leorio. He looked really confused for a moment before rubbing his jaw and I had to giggle at the action. I was just as funny in ‘ real life’ as it was in the show.  
“Hey, Leorioi, Killua, how have you been?Oh, hey, you're the guy who was being carried right! What’s your name?” Gon asked as he and Kurapika came over to where we all were.

“Yeah, I totally had no idea how I got here so I begged them to help me. I have been here for a bit now and so when I saw Leorio here be… wandering in I figured I would check on him.” I said with a light chuckle hoping to put Gon and Kurapika at ease. When Kurapika was about to say something, satotz, the examiner said his goodbyes and I excused myself to go back to Hisoka and Illumi. Making sure to ruffle both Gon and Killua’s hair as I went.

“Hi, is it safe for me to come back now?” I asked as I walked up to them. Illumi and Hisoka were standing by the gate waiting for it to open. Hisoka looked over at me and covered his mouth with his card like he does in the show a lot.

“My dear, of course, you are too entertaining to let get away just yet. Besides, you still have so much more to tell, Aya was it?”   
“Yeah, hey, during the next task could you guys kill me two of the pigs ? I’ll feed on to the instructors, one of them to fail and with the other one, preferably a smaller one, I’ll make us a nice meal and invite Gon and his friends.” I said as the doors to the park opened to reveal a whole bunch of cooking tables and fire pits in front of the big Mansion house that make up this part of the park.

We listen to them give speeches about being gourmet hunters and them sending everyone off to hunt a pig. I tried to go to one of the stations to start prep work but Illumi dragged me off back into the woods with him and Hisoka.

“Would You care to explain to us how you knew what the task was going to be.” Illumi said as he threw me up against a tree truck, towering over me and once again released what I assume is his killing intent.

“Yes, do tell how you knew what was going to happen before we even did. Is it these feelings you have been having?” Hisoka asked as he came up beside me.

“Look, I honestly don’t know what is going on but I just know these things. Like I know that no matter what we feed them she will never pass us.I know that the other instructor satotz is going to be watching and when she fails everyone he will make a call and they will make us do a second test.” I said as I looked at them both trying to convey the truth without having to give them everything. 

“You know, this game is starting to lose its fun. Why should we just kill you now and cut our losses.” Hisoka asked, causing me to start panicking.

“ Fuck what am I supposed to tell them!!! I can’t tell them I am from another world, or can I? There was no great being that said I couldn’t and I’m crazy as is so if they kill me they kill me!” I thought to myself before taking a deep breath before deciding on what to say.

“Okay, I don’t know if it’s safe to talk about it here but like I said before I just woke up in the hunter exam room. Before that though, I think I lived in a totally different world than this one. You say the reason why I know so much is because where I come from Gon is a very popular person. There is a show about his life as he goes through hunter exams. You both and your family of course interact with him and so what I know comes from that. If I say too much things may change drastically and I don’t know what the outcome would be. I can tell you more later which we can board the hunter’s Zeppelin.” I said and I could see them both thinking I was crazy and considering if what I was saying could be true.

“Why do you need two pigs, really?” Illumi asked like I had not just thrown crazy at them.

“ I told you the truth one is the feed to the instructors so I can fail the exam but also I seriously have not eaten since the beginning of this and I don’t know how you to do it but I am starving and also I have to go to the restroom now that I am thinking about it. So, while you guys talk all this through I am going to go that way for a little bit and do the thing that involves not standing up, excuse me.” With that I ran a little ways away in hopes to keep them from seeing or smelling what I was about to do.

“Thank god I grew up in the country or this would be way more embarrassing than it already is. I need to get a stick and dig a whole first and find some leaves before they think I am trying to get away or they just leave me.” I thought as I got a little ways from them. Grabbing a little branch from the tree near me, breaking off and using it to dig a little hole before finding a few leaves that did not remind me of poison ivy. Feeling horrible for not being able to wash my hands I can’t wait to get back so I can wash my hands in the sink there.

I walked back to find Hisoka there instead of Illumi like I thought I would see. Either way, them knowing what I was doing made me blush deep red and so when Hisoka waved me over I was not happy that he seemed to get closer to me right now when my hands don’t feel clean.

“Come now don’t delay any longer. Illumi has gone to catch two pigs and has left me in charge of getting my own and a small one for you.” He said as I walked beside him. Once we heard the others yelling and could finally see them chasing pigs around. Hisoka quickly killed his pig before telling me not to leave the pig alone while he went to find me a smaller one. So, setting and waiting I decided to pick up some of the apples that had fallen from the trees that some of the other contestants had knocked down while killing their pigs. 

Along with filling my bag halfway full I found some other things that I recognized. Getting a few mushrooms off of the trees, some wild onion and making sure to get them at the bulbs. I also found some walnuts that had fallon from their trees. Walking back to the pig Hisoka killed, I liened against it and looked up. Seeing a nest there, I started to think about pork katsudon and so I decided to try and see if there were any eggs up there.Crawling onto the pig's stomach I try to jump up to the branch a few times and when that does not work out I decide to look around to find a stick and poke at it.

“What are you doing now?” I heard Illumi’s voice from behind me causing me to slip off of the pig’s stomach and hit my butt on the ground.

“Ouuuch, you know you really should not sneak up on people like that and I was trying to see if there were any eggs in the nest. If so, then I was going to try and use them in the foods that I make for dinner for us. What about you? Hisoka said you were going to go get two of the pigs while he went to try and finds a smaller one for our dinner.” I asked getting up and walk over to him and sure enough there were two other dead pigs near the one Hisoka had killed.

“I did not see you two coming out of the woods so I figured I would come back and check to see if you had run off or what was taking him so long.” Illumi said. When I reached him I took his hand again to start working on building a touch based relationship as opposed to just being thrown around and given that most of his human contact was probably from violence. I wanted to give him positive reinforcement.

“Why do you insist on touching me?”

“Well, I will not lie to you. No matter how… odd, I find this look on you. I still know what you look like and I do find you very attractive. I am trying to show you that I don’t want to hurt you or Hisoka. I honestly would much rather be in a committed relationship with the three of use. Even if your mom does scare me more than anything and you know if you don’t want me touching you then you could totally help me check the nest for eggs.” I was actually kind of sad when he let go of my hand in order to jump on the pig and easily grabbed the nest.

“Here is the nest and there does seem to be a few eggs in it.”

“Oh, wow, thanks Illumi!” I said as I wrapped him into an awkward hug due to the giant pins sticking out of him.

“Now that is just not fair. After all the work I did to find their dean and kill this little baby piggy for you, where is my hug for all the hard work that I did?” Hisoka’s voice came from off to the side.

“If you wanted my arms around you then you only had to ask.” I told Hisoka as I put the nest into my bag of goodies as well. Leaving Illumi by the pigs I went over to Hisoka, who had a dead piglet in one hand the other propped on his hip. Though, honestly it still looked about 100 or 200 pounds, so I stood as close to him as I could. My head came to his collarbone and looked up.

“I think you already know this but Hisoka, you are very much an amazing person and I would very much like to touch you.” I said running my hands up his abbs and then around his back. Hugging him tightly for a moment I picture all the warm and fuzzies that I have for my fictional hubbys. I don’t have a way to ooze killing intent but I can make them awkward by wearing my weeb feelings on my sleeves. 

“Well darling as much as I enjoy you, we do have a test to start, even if it is to fail. I don’t understand why that is our goal, even if there is going to be a second test.” Hisoka said as he walked over to get the large pig that he had killed first.   
Him and Illumi looked back at me to make sure I was following them and I swear at this point I would gladly die a happy weeb. Following quickly I had Hisoka place my spot in between them and I found the sharpest knife on the table that they had and after washing my hands finally! I was able to gut both pigs even though it did take a really long time given that their skin was very tough. Once the bigger pig was on its spike and cooking I focused on the little pig.

After gutting the smaller pig and being very thankful that this breed did not have hair on it I went straight to look at what the stations had. I found knives, for vegetables, potatoes, carrots, onions, peppers, tomatoes,oranges, and even some lettuce. From there I found a spice cabinet that had things like bread crumbs that I would definitely be using and most of the other sauces that I would need for what I wanted. I also found noodles and rice with the bread crumbs.

I then proceeded to check both Hisoka and Illumi’s stations to find the same things. So, I started by making rice on all three stations since that was easy. Then I cut the potatoes and carrots, along with two onions into a pot to start my curry base by adding spices from the cabinet. Washing the other foods that I planned to use I went back to the pig.

Cutting up a pig is something I haven’t done in over 7yrs. So, I start with what I know. I cut the pig open and then worked on cutting out the belly fat and the pork loin as well. Then working on the jaw and the leg for the ham part. I would throw pieces of the fat into a pot to cook into grease as I went. When it was left to just scraps and the ribs I looked over to Illumi and Hisoka for a minute before getting an idea. Standing up I look for where Gon and his friends are before walking over to them.

“Hey, Gon, Killua, do one of you think you could help me for just a second? I am not strong enough to cut through the rib bones and I really want to get these parts cooking. I am trying to make a thank you dinner for Hisoka and Gittarackur as a thank you for helping me out. Oh, you guys should totally join us for the meal that I am cooking, what do you say? I know that I am going to be starving by the point I’m done cooking. Would you four like to join me? I am making some of my favorites from where I come from.”

“Wow, really, I am super hungry!! I had completely forgotten about it until you brought it up!”

“I am sorry, but if you guys could cut the ribs from the spine that would be great. It’s the last thing I really need to cut before I can start cooking everything.”

“Yeah sure!” With that I got Gon and Killua by extension to follow me to my cooking station and had them cut the ribs out for me. Thanking them and promising them dinner once I was done I sent them away. Taking all the last scraps and putting them into a post of boiling water to blanch them first then changing the water and boiling everything into a brother, adding seasonings as I went.

All in all I wound up making 3 large things of white rice, about 30 pork cutlets that I would be soaking in Katsudon sauce for Hisoka and Illumi only since I only had one egg left really and I would break it up between them. I made 2 full rakes of sweet and spicy ribs, 2 large pots of pork curry. Meat cut just for the ramen and the rest was seasoned in different types on sauces and cooked over the fire.Then in another pot I had boiled fresh ramen noodles and then let the soak in the pork broth that I had made from the spare parts putting everything on my countertop once it was done. I then look up and see Kurapika getting told off for his dish and deciding to take mine up there.

“Hey, Gittarackur, Hisoka, I’m going to invite Gon and his friends over. You two go ahead and start eating.” I told them as I headed over to them.

“Hey, I have finished cooking. Do you guys want to go ahead and start eating while I go turn in my pig?” I asked them as I walked over to them talking.

“Yeah! Your station smells really good! I can’t wait!” Gon said before running off, Killua following after him.

“I am not sure about that. It looks like you put a lot of work into it. We would hate to intrude.” Kurapika said and Leorio looked very unimpressed with him for it.

“That’s okay, you could actually help me out to make up for it if you would...please. You see, I’m not physically strong and I was totally going to ask Gon for his help to take my pork to Buraha and Menchi but it seems he has already started to eat.” I said to Kurapika and Leorio.

“I will take it up for you as a thanks for the meal.” Kurapika said and true to word me carried it up for me and after getting a look from Menchi and Buraha he left to go get something to eat. Buraha of course gobbled down the pig and Menchi just looked at me.

“Well what else are you going to bring us?” Menchi asked me.

“Nothing, you asked for a pig and I gave you a pig. Admittedly it was a little crispy on the outside but I have never worked over an open fire before.”

“That is not what I mean! I have been watching you cook like crazy over there and you haven’t brought us any of it!! Those kids are going to eat everything before I get to try anything!!!!!!!” She cried, standing up and she started to walk around the table. Realizing she was going to go to my table and try my food, which would ruin everything. I quickly reach out to grab her arm only to have her slap my hand away.

“Hey, wait!” I called out and ran in front of her and Buraha who was following her.

“Menchi, I say this with all the respect I have and for you that is a lot. However, I need you to listen to me before continuing, please!”

“Fine, I’ll listen but make it quick. I am hungry, you know.”

“I need you to fail me and not go leave me, the crazy clown, and the bobbing, pin headed to have our meal. Cooking is currently the only thing I am okay at and this is my way of seducing them. I have not had sex, let alone good sex in over four years. So, I need you to do me a solid and just fail me to and let me go pamper those men in the hopes that later tonight when I send the little kiddies to bed they will fuck me sincless.” I said in a hushed whisper so hopefully not everyone would hear me.

“What, are you serious? You want to fail the exam in order to just get fucked!” She whispered screeched at me.

“Look, become a hunter and everything is great but if I can convince those crazy men to be in a committed relationship with me, then I would drop out in a heartbeat because having love in my life is more important than failing at a test. So, I am asking you to do me a solid and keep me with them and just go away. I really need to get fucked and I really need them to spend more time with me so I can convince them to stay with me!” I begged again trying to keep it down. By this point Buraha had already backed out of our conversation.

“No way, I am sorry but I am hungry and I want to eat something!!!”

“Then fail me first so I can go home with them and then you can have a plate. How about that? Just don’t stay and try talking to us, please.”

“Fine you fail this exam, just like everyone else. Now bring me food!!” She called out before throwing up her red ex tag and going back to her set.

“Awsome, thanks!!!” I said before running off to fix her a plate knowing that Netero would be here soon. Running back to fix them a plate of the food I could see Illumi sitting near Killua as Gon told Killua an animated story about something. Kurapika and Leorio sat a little further back and away from Hisoka who sat right beside Illumi.

“Hi, guys I will be right back. I just have to run a plate of this food over to Menchi and Buraha before I can eat okay.” With letting them know I just made a bed of rice and curry before throwing a piece of the panko fried pork on top. A few ribs on the side and running it to them before running back without even saying a word.

“Alright I am back, how is the food?” I asked them all and Gon and Killua both started talking with their mouths full and Leorio and Kurapika gave their complements before going back to eating. So I quickly pulled 3 panko breaded pieces of pork and put in the pan with my katsudon sauce and dumped the last of the eggs over it then covered to let it simmer. Then getting a few ribs for myself and a bed of rice. Getting a bowl I put some of the broth from the ramen I took it over to set it down by Hisoka, getting their plates from them getting a confused look. Taking it to where the katsudon was simmering and dished it out to each of their plates before taking it back to them with my own plate. Setting in between them instead of just by Hisoka like I had planned to, making sure that my shoulders rubbed each other.

“So, how is my attempt at wooing you guys? I asked as commotion started. I started to eat a little faster before they brought their augment my way.

“It is surprisingly good. I was honestly worried that you were trying to kill us. Though, I am curious as to why you invited the others to eat with us?”

“Well, I am curious, you know from where I am from I would have these fantasies of all of us being a family. I would be mommy and you two would be their daddies. I have an emotional attachment to all of you but I can’t explain it in a way that doesn’t make me come out like the crazy one of us. So, for now, just let them enjoy their food. Who knows when the next time they will have a home cooked me by someone who actually cares about them.” I said as I saw the big wrassling guy go flying across the sky and Menchi Yelling at the top of her lungs about what a gourmet hunter does. 

“I feel like we should just go ahead and kill you to get all of this over with. If you're not here nothing changes, right.” Gittarackur/ Illumi said from where he was eating. His head is still slowly bobbing even while eating.

“Yeah, just could you make it painless? Like I said earlier, I am quite the baby when it comes to pain.” I said to him, putting more of my weight on him, resting my head on his shoulder.

“Wow, not even a fight? I am surprised, I thought you still had some spirit left in you.” Hisoka comminuted and I stuck my leg out to knock our knees together.

“I don’t want to die, but let's look at it like this. I am in a strange place with no money or education. I have no family to ask for help, I have nothing here. Not even my dead end job anymore. So, if you want me dead then do it. If not then be ready for me to keep trying to seduce you both and eventually, we can claim some strays. Until then, I am going to pack this stuff up.” Getting up I went back to the cooking area and took the foil that was there to wrap the leftover cutlets and other pieces of meat that I had just laid out to cook on the fire.

Cutting meat off of the bones and putting them in bags that they had. Then, taking the bags that had seals on them to put sauces in. Putting as much of it as I could into my bag and all of the knives I wrapped in a towel to place my bag as well as a jar of the brother I had made with a few vegetables that I had not cooked. As I was finishing up I heard Netero crash down and dirt go all over the place.

I was honestly surprised that it took him an hour to get here. It seemed much shorter in the show. While he was giving his speech I kept packing my bag as full as I could before taking the last arm full that wouldn’t fit and passing it to Kurapika as we all boarded the Zeppelin. 

Once we got onto the Zeppelin the sun was starting to go down already. The flight to Split Mountain was only about 30 minutes but by the time we were there the sun was half set. We all stepped off the Zeppelin and followed Menchi to the edge of the cliff and watched as she explained about getting the spider Eagle's egg. As I watched her jump I was honestly terrified and did not think about this part.


	3. Spider Eagle Eggs and Heights

Spider Eagle Eggs and Heights

“So, Hisoka, let's talk about that nen of your. Do you think you could stick a piece to me so if I don’t make it then you could pull me back up?” I asked him, shaking a little as I looked over the side of the cliff.

“Hmm, I don’t think I will. After that impassioned speech about being ready to die I think you are getting a little boring. If you can pass this task by yourself then I’ll consider keeping you around okay.” Hisoka said before walking over to Illumi and then had the balls to smile and wave at me!

“Okay, calm down and think about it. I want Hisoka and Illumi, so I have to do this part by myself. If I do this smart and I trust Gon like in the episodes then I should be safe. I’ll just need to make sure that I jut after everyone else and try to get on a web without that many people so it doesn't break on me. I think I can do this, I have to do this for every weeb out that is totally jealous of me right now for being in the same world as these two. Not to mention that I want to play mommy to Killua as he goes home to try and keep him from being tortured and having poor Gon play that stupid coin game.” While I was ranting to myself Menchi had come back up and Gon was jumping off, so I walked over to the edge to line myself up with one of the webs when someone put a hand on my shoulder.

“Aya, you don’t have to jump if you don’t want to. I hereby change my decision about your food and pass you for this round.” I breathed a sigh of relief but then heard someone scream as they fell off too early. 

“I really appreciate it but I have to do this one myself.” I said as I jumped off the edge just as I heard Gon call out for everyone to jump. Falling I missed the first line of eggs but thankfully literally hit a pod of the eggs and my sudden weight hitting the line along with the past applicants hitting it snapped the line and just as I started screaming because I was falling again the updraft came and pushed me and everyone back up. Screaming more I could not figure how to get over to the side to land. I could see Hisoka and Illumi already on land with Gon and his friend.

Sadly seeing them did nothing to help and the draft cut out and I started to plummet again so I held onto the eggs as tight as I could. This finally scream read a new pitch as I was going down only for me to hit the ground hard landing on my back and butt. Looking up I saw Hisoka and Illumi smirking at me. Before I could say anything though Gon and Killua were beside me as I tried to hold back tears.

“Hey, Aya, are you okay?”

“Yeah, you were screaming a lot and Gon was really worried about you.” As Killua talked I looked up at Hisoka and Illumi to see Hisoka just smiling like the evil bastard that he is and Illumi just kept bobbing his head, this only made me cry louder.

“Hisoka, Gittarackur, you jerks! You could have caught me!! I’m terrified of heights and you made me jump anyway!!!” I kept crying until finally Menchi came over and finally got me to calm down and took the eggs from me to boil, leaving me sniffling while Gon went and shared his egg. Once I settled myself a bit Illumi and Hisoka were off to the side eating their eggs and watching me. Gon was talking to the big guy that failed the test. Killua was over by Kurapika and Leorio, eating their eggs as well getting up I walked over to Menchi to get all some of the eggs that I had somehow gotten and put them in my bag. It was now overflowing with stuff and getting my own to eat.

“Honey, are you okay? If you were so scared of heights you really did not have to jump. I told you I would let you pass based on your meal.”

“What! Aya you jumped when you didn’t have to?” Gon cried out loudly.

“Yeah, but it’s okay, I had to prove to myself and to Hisoka and Gittarackur that I could do something by myself even if it scares me to death. They’re so strong even though I’m not physically strong so I had to show them that my will is strong enough to keep up with them. Though for now I am just going to go to the bathroom and then go to sleep because my heart needs a rest.” Telling Gon to share the rest of the eggs that I could not fit into my bag I went aboard the airship I went to the back of the ship, using the bathroom on my way to clean up a bit and found a smallest room that they had shown us.

Stealing two seat cushions on my way. No one else had their things in this room so I went in and laid my bag down, before placing the cushions down as well and crawled into a ball on them. Resting my head on one arm to try and take a nap because at this point I either needed to cry again or sleep from my adrenaline crash.  
Can Depression Lead to More?

“Well, it looks like you made yourself comfortable.” I heard Hisoka say as the door opened then closed a moment later and I felt the side of the cushion I was on dip.

“Why are you hiding in here? I figured you would have come find us by now.” Hisoka spoke again, this time one of his hands came to rest on my shoulder of the arm that I had covered my eyes while resting on my other arm, facing the wall.

“I’m not hiding, I just need time to rest and be alone after that.”

“Of course I’m not going to come find you after embarrassing myself like that in front of everyone. On top of that I can feel my depression kicking in and I don’t even have my security blanket here in this world. It’s not like it would help anyway, I don’t have a place to live, a job ,or even a phone!!! What the hell am I supposed to do!! I either die here in the exam or I will be homeless because let's face it, convincing these two men to like me let alone love me is going to be impossible. I just want to go to sleep and go back to my dead end job and pretend like my heart isn’t being broken by fictional characters that I am somehow working with.” My thoughts started spirelling from there.

“You know you told us that you would tell us more once we had some private time on the airship. So, here we are and no one else is around. Why not share a little with us.” Hisoka’s voice was sweet but the threat was there. His hand going to my head to pet my hair.

“No, we should be landing at the next exam by 8am give me some time by myself. I am too emotionally tired right now, I jumped off that cliff even though I am terrified of heights and then my embarrassing crying fit is currently being accompanied by onset depression.So, unless you two feel like babying me for the next few hours I want a nap, leave me alone. I don’t care anymore.” I said hoping they would leave. I am depression’s bitch and even though I like to pretend to feel better or in this case forget it for a time.

“Hopefully with a nap I can act like I feel better after.”

“No, you said you would speak to use so speak. We have been very patient and even going as far as not pushing for more information when you claimed to be from another world.” Illumi said in a hard tone.

“Now, now, Illumi, that is no way to talk to someone unless you plan on torturing them.” Hisoka said to him before his hand left my hair and the next thing I knew was that I was being picked up.

Hisoka sat on one of my cushions, placing me on his lap and from the angle we were setting I am assuming that his back is propped up against the wall. One of Hisoka’s hands was around my stomach and the other coming from under one arm to rest on my shoulder, holding me to him. Once I sat down I could see that Illumi had taken out his disguise and had gotten up to sit directly in front of Hisoka and I.

After a brief and very futile struggle I just slumped against him with a deep pout, releasing a sigh as I gave up. At this he took his arm from my shoulder and started to pet my hair again. Illumi just watched with a very passive face causing me to slump into Hisoka more. I hate to admit it, Hisoka is really warm and the petting is nice though.

“Now, that you are calming down let's start out the beginning shall we? You said that where you are from there is a show that has dictated Gon’s life and since we come into contact with him quite a bit it has also provided you knowledge about us as well, right?”

“Well… it started out that a person created a story out of Gon’s life and yes, you all show up in relation to Gon. However, it was such a big thing that the people who make animation decided to turn it into a show. It is through these outlets that I started to like you both. Illumi and his cold personality that puts people off at first and Hisoka, your flare for life. You both do such amazing things, when I find it hard to leave my bed some mornings. You both have passion for what you do and the people in your life.  
I became attracted to that and started making up little short stories of us all meeting and being in a relationship. Taking in those little misfits and helping them grow up, become stronger. I always knew that you two would never really be soft or fluffy and I would never want either of you to lose the things that you are passionate about. So, with the emotional depression and the unhealthy attachment to, fictional people I just lived a very sad life that I can’t seem to get myself out of.” I vomited it all out but tried not to sound too creepy. Slumping further into Hisoka’s chest more as he kept petting me.  
“And that is how you know about us, and you said you don’t know how you got into the exam. You just woke up here right?” This time it was Illumi asking me the question, his voice softer then the last time but still lacked emotion really.

“I woke up, thinking this was all a dream. Normally when I become conscious of the fact that I am still asleep I can tweak my dreams to the way I want. However, when I first came too, I tried thinking of scenarios to meet you both but nothing happened. So, I tried to figure out what was going on when Tonpa came over to offer me the orange juice that he put laxatives in. I shook his hand after declining the orange juice to see if I could get any touch sensation and I did. Then, I tried counting back from a hundred. Finally, I tried just pinching myself a lot, sensation of pain and being able to read or account are normally things that one cannot do in their dreams so I naturally freaked out.  
I don’t have money for this world or any real knowledge that I could use for it and there are also stories of this happening to other people as well. They get superpowers and cool gifts for coming to the new world that make them really strong normally. Me, I get nothing special and my depression even followed me from my world. I did the only thing I could think of and decided to follow the story plot but to do that I needed help. I am very serious when I say I am not strong or anything. I am even weaker then Leorio is, not that he doesn’t have a lot of growth coming his way, but still.  
I don’t have a lot on Hisoka that would cause him to stay interested in me for long term and the knowledge that I do have doesn’t really help him out in this exam and Illumi himself doesn’t have anything himself, but his family are all assassins so of course they have their own secrets. So, having nothing to lose I decided to try giving him an incentive to be interested in me. It was a long shot, I know.” I told them and just closed my eyes waiting for them to comprehend everything. I was waiting for them to either leave me or to kill me.

“Hmmm, that is a lot to take in let alone believe. However, I am curious about why you said Killua are similar earlier?”

“Umm… well, it’s just from what I know...you are loyal to very few people. When Hisoka… when he dies… you look like you want to cry. I think Hisoka is the closest thing to a friend that you have and losing him makes you sad. Companionship is what you found in Hisoka and right now that is what Killua is looking for. Someone outside of the family that accepts him for the killer that he is. It takes him some time but once he finds it, he becomes stronger.” I kind of feel really bad about bringing this up really hoping it does not change anything. At this point I kind of just want to start crying again. Even though Hisoka is still petting my head I just feel so swamped with negative feelings.

“Well, you are also right that you don’t have a lot of options on things you can do without the knowledge of this world. However, knowledge is always something that can be gained. I will admit that I am very interested in you and your story. Though, I can offer you a job as my housekeeper and while you work you can take that time to learn the things you need to know to get by. How does that sound?” Hisoka asked and I was honestly surprised by the offer. 

“I thought you would want to get rid of me as fast as you could. I don’t know if that is a good idea, I want to be close to both of you and neither of you really care for anything but the knowledge that I have. If I give you too much too soon I could change things in a bad way and if I don’t give you the knowledge then you wouldn’t care about me at all.” I said as I pulled my knees to my chest and contorted my body into the smallest ball that I could given that Hisoka would not let go of my waist and was still patting me. Though as I leaned forward it became more of a stroke from head to mid back.

“You stated that you have preconceived Ideas of how we should be and want to fit us into your storyline from your world. You have not though given any thought of us, here and now, the real us. I have never really had an interest in these kinds of things but the knowledge you have could be valuable to me in the future and if trying a relationship is something that would keep you around then I guess I could give it a try.” Illumi said.

“Ah, Illumi, you sly dog. I honestly didn’t think you would be comfortable taking this that far. However, since Illumi has no complaints about it, let me change my offer. Come live with me and we can work on seeing if you really are someone who can keep us interested or not. If we don’t work out, you can just be the housekeeper if you want, what do you say?” Hisoka said as he pulled my head around to look him in the eyes and smirked at me.

“I don’t remember inviting you into this offer of a relationship.”

“Oh, now don’t be mean Illumi, after all I am important to you aren’t I.” The two kept bickering while I kind of zoned out.

“OMG, this can not be happening!! They are probably just playing me to get more information out of me. They don’t care. Though, even though they don’t care now it doesn’t mean I can’t change their mind about me as time goes on. This whole thing has just become a mess. I haven’t even made it a full day and I have already cracked from the pressure. Though, I really would like to be in a relationship with them. Maybe I could keep Hisoka from dying and help the other 4 get by in an easier life.” Hope and depression warred against each other causing my mental capacity to crash. I feel asleep hearing them argue. 

Waking up was hard, my head was heavy and thoughts foggy. Rolling over I rubbed my head into my pillow trying to get comfortable. That is when I realized I did not have a pillow, I was being held by Hisoka. Opening my eyes in confusion I see Hisoka laying out on the floor with his head resting on his hands and the cover is over him. Looking behind me I noticed Illumi was above me so I guessed I was in his lap.

“What time is it?”

“It is about 6am and we should be there in a little while.”

“If you only offered to be in a relationship with me to get the information I have or to protect the knowledge to protect your family, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you then. I would feel terrible if you did that, I would never tell anyone about your family. So, please think about it and if the only thing that you want is to protect your family or the information I have then, just be my friend okay. Because I would become so guilt ridden if you felt nothing for me and were just being with me out of loyalty to your family. You can let me know after the exam if you aren’t sure about it at this point. I don’t want you to be hurt Illumi.” I said to him before rolling back over to tuck my head into his leg, looking over to Hisoka, seeing that he is awake and watching us.

“Well, I see that you are finally awake. How did you sleep?”

“I am still exhausted and I just want to crawl to the corner and stay there.” I told him and he just hummed at me before setting up, crawling over to us. He straddled me at my knees and leaned down one arm supporting him and the other came to grip my chin.

“Unlike Ilumi, I have no qualms about starting a relationship with you and not just for the information that you have. Though, I will be kissing you now. After all, I need to make sure we are compatible, right?” Hisoka said as he moved to kiss me but I quickly covered his mouth.

“Wait, I don’t have a tooth brush, my breath is probably really bad!” I started to panic.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you are too distracted to even think about it.” He said before taking my lips in a strong kiss. Though, I was surprised that the first one was so brief. He pulled away quickly, causing me to gasp and as I did, Hisoka’s tongue entered my mouth. It was awkward and messy at first but everytime he would pull away to let me catch a breath he would just plunge back in without warning. My head was light and foggy for a completely different reason from when I first woke up.  
Eventually, I felt Illumi move from under my head now that Hisoka and I were basically eating each other's faces. My arms around his back pulling him closer, I tried to push my hips up to grind together with Hisokas. He suddenly pulled us over to where I was on top and Hisoka held my face just out of reach of the kissing range.

“If you want to go back to kissing we can, but I do think I remember you saying something about a gag reflex?” He said, giving me a sexy smirk before licking his lips and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to wrap my lips around his dick so badly.

“Yes!!! Please!!” I said, looking over to Illumi, he was watching us in a coriouse way. 

“ Are you okay or do you want to leave?” I asked Illumi.

“I will watch, I can't wait to see what you can do.” Illumi said as he sat down right across from us so that he could get a good view. This caused me to smile like crazy. Lowering down I nuzzle into Hisoka’s pants, inhaling the scent of his cock before gently biting onto it. Just holding it in my mouth for a second and then licking him through his pants.

“OMG, I can’t believe that I get to do this!!! I am going to worship him.”   
Taking the hem of his pants in my hands I start to pull them down to his knees. Hisoka’s cock was half hard and I looked to be about 9 inches and the wheth was just right. My hands could not fully circle the cock and his balls hung down. There was not a hair in sight, and I liked my lips.   
Leaning down I ran my noise down from his belly button, edging around is dick and started to lick from his hip, over to his balls. Taking one of my hands, grip his cock to hold off his balls, stroking it slow and firm. Lapping at his balls before sucking them in and letting my tongue massage the balls through the skin of the sack.

Dropping his balls from my mouth so I could run my tongue up the underside of his cock tightening my grip on his base and taking my other hand fondle his balls, my middle finger rubbing the skin between his balls to the rim of his ass but not actually touching his hole. My tongue circling the head of his cock. Before taking a deep breath and swallowing him whole.

Looking up made sure that Illumi was watching us. Making eye contact as I opened my mouth wide and making Hisoka gasp and when I swallowed him whole in one go his hips jerked up, hand coming to grip my hair tight. Tongue trying to cover every inch of his cock that it could and I would switch between humming or swallowing.Hearing his groans and feeling his grip in my hair, my own cock was hard and so releasing his balls to reach into my own pants jerked myself off.

Moving up and down getting Hisoka to finally take control of my bobbing. His thrust was strong and rough, his grip tightening as he forced my head up and down. Only giving me a few moments to breath when I tapped his leg to ask for breath. It only took a few minutes before we both were cumming. Swallowing his cum, and my own cum covering my hands. Leining back on to my knees so that Hisoka and Illumi could watch me, I cleaned my hands by licking them clean of my own cum.  
“So, Hisoka, how was it? I think you tasted wonderful, better then I have ever imagined. Let’s play again whenever you want okay.” I said as I kept licking my hands clean of my own cum before looking back over at them both smirking in victory. Hisoka gave me a broad grin and sat up against the wall tucking himself in.

“I will honestly say I don’t think I have ever had anything as good as that before. I normally have my partners begging me to stop. What did you think of the show Illumi, was it any good?”

“I will admit that it was a very good show and if I was participating in it I am sure that it would have been very pleasurable. However, the next exam will be starting soon and we should eat. There are also showers on the ship that we can take advantage of before we start if we are quick.” Illumi said as he stood up and this caused Hisoka to start laughing. Illumi came over to me, surprising me quite a bit.

“ I truly was very impressed with you. However, I will be taking the time you set to consider what you said about reasons for a relationship. Now, let us head to the showers first and eat last.” He took my hands helping me up before giving Hisoka a dirty look. Hisoka just kept laughing before standing up as well. Letting Illumi lead the way I quickly grabbed the cushions on our way out.

“What are you doing with those?” Illumi asked.

“I hate sleeping on the ground.”

“Okay, so you’re just going to carry cushions around?” Hisoka asked.

“Yep, you know, I feel bad that I will have to be putting dirty clothes on.” I said leaving it at that.

“Now, now, it's not that bad it has only been a day, darling.”

“Yeah, but the next task will be 3 days and I don’t even know if there will be bathrooms there and immediately following that will be a week on an island. My clothes already have blood and other stuff on them from the pig slaughter.” Once my clothes were off I just walked straight into the show stall that was closest to me. Letting Illumi and Hisoka watch as I showered, leaving the curtain on for them.

“Oh, well aren’t you just being a tease right now.” Hisoka purred right behind me. Pulling my naked form into his chest and running his hands around my body drawing a moan from me.

“ Hisoka, we do not have time for your games if you want to pass the exam this year.”

“Illumi, dear, you are no fun, you know that.” Hisoka stopped touching my cock but he still held me close.

“ Either he is just really horny or he is good at playing his games. Though, even if they are playing me right now. I still feel more cared for then in the past 4yrs when I had no body. I wonder if I can love them even though they don’t love me? Can my heart take it?” I thought to myself as I finished washing and once I was done I watched as Hisoka, who had stayed in the shower with me was still washing his hair. So, letting him closer to the shower head I grabbed one of the clean folded rags and started to wash his back for him.

“Hmm, first this morning and now you are helping with washing me? I feel quite spoiled.”

“Good, I have always been a physical person. I like to touch and feel the people I am with even if it is not sexual. That is why I have been trying to hold Illumi’s hand, to try and form a physical bond with him that does not involve violence. I like to pamper those that I care about as much as I can. Even if it is not sexual and the people are just my friends. That is why I really invited them to eat with us. I wanted them to know that I care. I also wanted to give Illumi the chance to be near his brother. Illumi, I want you to have a relationship with your brother that is healthy and one that has you both happy. You may think of it as prying but I think Killua could really use a big brother in the future, but for now you have to just be as you are.”

“And what exactly am I right now?”

“You are a big brother who puts family first not the individual first. Though, you still love them all in your own way.” I finished with Hisoka’s back and stepped out to dry off. 

“I don’t see the difference, the family is what we all strive to protect.”

“Yes, I guess my understanding of what I want in a family and what yours is are different. That’s okay though, it just means that is something else that you will have to think about.” I told him as I put my clothes on and waited for them to dress as well. 

Making a point not to look at Illumi as he dresses. We went to get a quick breakfast and I made sure to use the bathroom and take two rolls of toilet paper. As we got off of the airship a lot of the people were looking at me as I carried the cushions off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not completely sure were I want to take this so I a more then likely just going to probably make another one that that is similar and I'll just work on them as I go.


	4. Can Depression Lead to More?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know that there personalities are not cannon but I try to keep it as close as I can but still make them a little soft.

Can Depression Lead to More?

“Well, it looks like you made yourself comfortable.” I heard Hisoka say as the door opened then closed a moment later and I felt the side of the cushion I was on dip.

“Why are you hiding in here? I figured you would have come find us by now.” Hisoka spoke again, this time one of his hands came to rest on my shoulder of the arm that I had covered my eyes while resting on my other arm, facing the wall.

“I’m not hiding, I just need time to rest and be alone after that.”

“Of course I’m not going to come find you after embarrassing myself like that in front of everyone. On top of that I can feel my depression kicking in and I don’t even have my security blanket here in this world. It’s not like it would help anyway, I don’t have a place to live, a job ,or even a phone!!! What the hell am I supposed to do!! I either die here in the exam or I will be homeless because let's face it, convincing these two men to like me let alone love me is going to be impossible. I just want to go to sleep and go back to my dead end job and pretend like my heart isn’t being broken by fictional characters that I am somehow working with.” My thoughts started spirelling from there.

“You know you told us that you would tell us more once we had some private time on the airship. So, here we are and no one else is around. Why not share a little with us.” Hisoka’s voice was sweet but the threat was there. His hand going to my head to pet my hair.

“No, we should be landing at the next exam by 8am give me some time by myself. I am too emotionally tired right now, I jumped off that cliff even though I am terrified of heights and then my embarrassing crying fit is currently being accompanied by onset depression.So, unless you two feel like babying me for the next few hours I want a nap, leave me alone. I don’t care anymore.” I said hoping they would leave. I am depression’s bitch and even though I like to pretend to feel better or in this case forget it for a time.

“Hopefully with a nap I can act like I feel better after.”

“No, you said you would speak to use so speak. We have been very patient and even going as far as not pushing for more information when you claimed to be from another world.” Illumi said in a hard tone.

“Now, now, Illumi, that is no way to talk to someone unless you plan on torturing them.” Hisoka said to him before his hand left my hair and the next thing I knew was that I was being picked up.

Hisoka sat on one of my cushions, placing me on his lap and from the angle we were setting I am assuming that his back is propped up against the wall. One of Hisoka’s hands was around my stomach and the other coming from under one arm to rest on my shoulder, holding me to him. Once I sat down I could see that Illumi had taken out his disguise and had gotten up to sit directly in front of Hisoka and I.

After a brief and very futile struggle I just slumped against him with a deep pout, releasing a sigh as I gave up. At this he took his arm from my shoulder and started to pet my hair again. Illumi just watched with a very passive face causing me to slump into Hisoka more. I hate to admit it, Hisoka is really warm and the petting is nice though.

“Now, that you are calming down let's start out the beginning shall we? You said that where you are from there is a show that has dictated Gon’s life and since we come into contact with him quite a bit it has also provided you knowledge about us as well, right?”

“Well… it started out that a person created a story out of Gon’s life and yes, you all show up in relation to Gon. However, it was such a big thing that the people who make animation decided to turn it into a show. It is through these outlets that I started to like you both. Illumi and his cold personality that puts people off at first and Hisoka, your flare for life. You both do such amazing things, when I find it hard to leave my bed some mornings. You both have passion for what you do and the people in your life.  
I became attracted to that and started making up little short stories of us all meeting and being in a relationship. Taking in those little misfits and helping them grow up, become stronger. I always knew that you two would never really be soft or fluffy and I would never want either of you to lose the things that you are passionate about. So, with the emotional depression and the unhealthy attachment to, fictional people I just lived a very sad life that I can’t seem to get myself out of.” I vomited it all out but tried not to sound too creepy. Slumping further into Hisoka’s chest more as he kept petting me.  
“And that is how you know about us, and you said you don’t know how you got into the exam. You just woke up here right?” This time it was Illumi asking me the question, his voice softer then the last time but still lacked emotion really.

“I woke up, thinking this was all a dream. Normally when I become conscious of the fact that I am still asleep I can tweak my dreams to the way I want. However, when I first came too, I tried thinking of scenarios to meet you both but nothing happened. So, I tried to figure out what was going on when Tonpa came over to offer me the orange juice that he put laxatives in. I shook his hand after declining the orange juice to see if I could get any touch sensation and I did. Then, I tried counting back from a hundred. Finally, I tried just pinching myself a lot, sensation of pain and being able to read or account are normally things that one cannot do in their dreams so I naturally freaked out.  
I don’t have money for this world or any real knowledge that I could use for it and there are also stories of this happening to other people as well. They get superpowers and cool gifts for coming to the new world that make them really strong normally. Me, I get nothing special and my depression even followed me from my world. I did the only thing I could think of and decided to follow the story plot but to do that I needed help. I am very serious when I say I am not strong or anything. I am even weaker then Leorio is, not that he doesn’t have a lot of growth coming his way, but still.  
I don’t have a lot on Hisoka that would cause him to stay interested in me for long term and the knowledge that I do have doesn’t really help him out in this exam and Illumi himself doesn’t have anything himself, but his family are all assassins so of course they have their own secrets. So, having nothing to lose I decided to try giving him an incentive to be interested in me. It was a long shot, I know.” I told them and just closed my eyes waiting for them to comprehend everything. I was waiting for them to either leave me or to kill me.

“Hmmm, that is a lot to take in let alone believe. However, I am curious about why you said Killua are similar earlier?”

“Umm… well, it’s just from what I know...you are loyal to very few people. When Hisoka… when he dies… you look like you want to cry. I think Hisoka is the closest thing to a friend that you have and losing him makes you sad. Companionship is what you found in Hisoka and right now that is what Killua is looking for. Someone outside of the family that accepts him for the killer that he is. It takes him some time but once he finds it, he becomes stronger.” I kind of feel really bad about bringing this up really hoping it does not change anything. At this point I kind of just want to start crying again. Even though Hisoka is still petting my head I just feel so swamped with negative feelings.

“Well, you are also right that you don’t have a lot of options on things you can do without the knowledge of this world. However, knowledge is always something that can be gained. I will admit that I am very interested in you and your story. Though, I can offer you a job as my housekeeper and while you work you can take that time to learn the things you need to know to get by. How does that sound?” Hisoka asked and I was honestly surprised by the offer. 

“I thought you would want to get rid of me as fast as you could. I don’t know if that is a good idea, I want to be close to both of you and neither of you really care for anything but the knowledge that I have. If I give you too much too soon I could change things in a bad way and if I don’t give you the knowledge then you wouldn’t care about me at all.” I said as I pulled my knees to my chest and contorted my body into the smallest ball that I could given that Hisoka would not let go of my waist and was still patting me. Though as I leaned forward it became more of a stroke from head to mid back.

“You stated that you have preconceived Ideas of how we should be and want to fit us into your storyline from your world. You have not though given any thought of us, here and now, the real us. I have never really had an interest in these kinds of things but the knowledge you have could be valuable to me in the future and if trying a relationship is something that would keep you around then I guess I could give it a try.” Illumi said.

“Ah, Illumi, you sly dog. I honestly didn’t think you would be comfortable taking this that far. However, since Illumi has no complaints about it, let me change my offer. Come live with me and we can work on seeing if you really are someone who can keep us interested or not. If we don’t work out, you can just be the housekeeper if you want, what do you say?” Hisoka said as he pulled my head around to look him in the eyes and smirked at me.

“I don’t remember inviting you into this offer of a relationship.”

“Oh, now don’t be mean Illumi, after all I am important to you aren’t I.” The two kept bickering while I kind of zoned out.

“OMG, this can not be happening!! They are probably just playing me to get more information out of me. They don’t care. Though, even though they don’t care now it doesn’t mean I can’t change their mind about me as time goes on. This whole thing has just become a mess. I haven’t even made it a full day and I have already cracked from the pressure. Though, I really would like to be in a relationship with them. Maybe I could keep Hisoka from dying and help the other 4 get by in an easier life.” Hope and depression warred against each other causing my mental capacity to crash. I feel asleep hearing them argue. 

Waking up was hard, my head was heavy and thoughts foggy. Rolling over I rubbed my head into my pillow trying to get comfortable. That is when I realized I did not have a pillow, I was being held by Hisoka. Opening my eyes in confusion I see Hisoka laying out on the floor with his head resting on his hands and the cover is over him. Looking behind me I noticed Illumi was above me so I guessed I was in his lap.

“What time is it?”

“It is about 6am and we should be there in a little while.”

“If you only offered to be in a relationship with me to get the information I have or to protect the knowledge to protect your family, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you then. I would feel terrible if you did that, I would never tell anyone about your family. So, please think about it and if the only thing that you want is to protect your family or the information I have then, just be my friend okay. Because I would become so guilt ridden if you felt nothing for me and were just being with me out of loyalty to your family. You can let me know after the exam if you aren’t sure about it at this point. I don’t want you to be hurt Illumi.” I said to him before rolling back over to tuck my head into his leg, looking over to Hisoka, seeing that he is awake and watching us.

“Well, I see that you are finally awake. How did you sleep?”

“I am still exhausted and I just want to crawl to the corner and stay there.” I told him and he just hummed at me before setting up, crawling over to us. He straddled me at my knees and leaned down one arm supporting him and the other came to grip my chin.

“Unlike Ilumi, I have no qualms about starting a relationship with you and not just for the information that you have. Though, I will be kissing you now. After all, I need to make sure we are compatible, right?” Hisoka said as he moved to kiss me but I quickly covered his mouth.

“Wait, I don’t have a tooth brush, my breath is probably really bad!” I started to panic.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that you are too distracted to even think about it.” He said before taking my lips in a strong kiss. Though, I was surprised that the first one was so brief. He pulled away quickly, causing me to gasp and as I did, Hisoka’s tongue entered my mouth. It was awkward and messy at first but everytime he would pull away to let me catch a breath he would just plunge back in without warning. My head was light and foggy for a completely different reason from when I first woke up.  
Eventually, I felt Illumi move from under my head now that Hisoka and I were basically eating each other's faces. My arms around his back pulling him closer, I tried to push my hips up to grind together with Hisokas. He suddenly pulled us over to where I was on top and Hisoka held my face just out of reach of the kissing range.

“If you want to go back to kissing we can, but I do think I remember you saying something about a gag reflex?” He said, giving me a sexy smirk before licking his lips and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to wrap my lips around his dick so badly.

“Yes!!! Please!!” I said, looking over to Illumi, he was watching us in a coriouse way. 

“ Are you okay or do you want to leave?” I asked Illumi.

“I will watch, I can't wait to see what you can do.” Illumi said as he sat down right across from us so that he could get a good view. This caused me to smile like crazy. Lowering down I nuzzle into Hisoka’s pants, inhaling the scent of his cock before gently biting onto it. Just holding it in my mouth for a second and then licking him through his pants.

“OMG, I can’t believe that I get to do this!!! I am going to worship him.”   
Taking the hem of his pants in my hands I start to pull them down to his knees. Hisoka’s cock was half hard and I looked to be about 9 inches and the wheth was just right. My hands could not fully circle the cock and his balls hung down. There was not a hair in sight, and I liked my lips.   
Leaning down I ran my noise down from his belly button, edging around is dick and started to lick from his hip, over to his balls. Taking one of my hands, grip his cock to hold off his balls, stroking it slow and firm. Lapping at his balls before sucking them in and letting my tongue massage the balls through the skin of the sack.

Dropping his balls from my mouth so I could run my tongue up the underside of his cock tightening my grip on his base and taking my other hand fondle his balls, my middle finger rubbing the skin between his balls to the rim of his ass but not actually touching his hole. My tongue circling the head of his cock. Before taking a deep breath and swallowing him whole.

Looking up made sure that Illumi was watching us. Making eye contact as I opened my mouth wide and making Hisoka gasp and when I swallowed him whole in one go his hips jerked up, hand coming to grip my hair tight. Tongue trying to cover every inch of his cock that it could and I would switch between humming or swallowing.Hearing his groans and feeling his grip in my hair, my own cock was hard and so releasing his balls to reach into my own pants jerked myself off.

Moving up and down getting Hisoka to finally take control of my bobbing. His thrust was strong and rough, his grip tightening as he forced my head up and down. Only giving me a few moments to breath when I tapped his leg to ask for breath. It only took a few minutes before we both were cumming. Swallowing his cum, and my own cum covering my hands. Leining back on to my knees so that Hisoka and Illumi could watch me, I cleaned my hands by licking them clean of my own cum.  
“So, Hisoka, how was it? I think you tasted wonderful, better then I have ever imagined. Let’s play again whenever you want okay.” I said as I kept licking my hands clean of my own cum before looking back over at them both smirking in victory. Hisoka gave me a broad grin and sat up against the wall tucking himself in.

“I will honestly say I don’t think I have ever had anything as good as that before. I normally have my partners begging me to stop. What did you think of the show Illumi, was it any good?”

“I will admit that it was a very good show and if I was participating in it I am sure that it would have been very pleasurable. However, the next exam will be starting soon and we should eat. There are also showers on the ship that we can take advantage of before we start if we are quick.” Illumi said as he stood up and this caused Hisoka to start laughing. Illumi came over to me, surprising me quite a bit.

“ I truly was very impressed with you. However, I will be taking the time you set to consider what you said about reasons for a relationship. Now, let us head to the showers first and eat last.” He took my hands helping me up before giving Hisoka a dirty look. Hisoka just kept laughing before standing up as well. Letting Illumi lead the way I quickly grabbed the cushions on our way out.

“What are you doing with those?” Illumi asked.

“I hate sleeping on the ground.”

“Okay, so you’re just going to carry cushions around?” Hisoka asked.

“Yep, you know, I feel bad that I will have to be putting dirty clothes on.” I said leaving it at that.

“Now, now, it's not that bad it has only been a day, darling.”

“Yeah, but the next task will be 3 days and I don’t even know if there will be bathrooms there and immediately following that will be a week on an island. My clothes already have blood and other stuff on them from the pig slaughter.” Once my clothes were off I just walked straight into the show stall that was closest to me. Letting Illumi and Hisoka watch as I showered, leaving the curtain on for them.

“Oh, well aren’t you just being a tease right now.” Hisoka purred right behind me. Pulling my naked form into his chest and running his hands around my body drawing a moan from me.

“ Hisoka, we do not have time for your games if you want to pass the exam this year.”

“Illumi, dear, you are no fun, you know that.” Hisoka stopped touching my cock but he still held me close.

“ Either he is just really horny or he is good at playing his games. Though, even if they are playing me right now. I still feel more cared for then in the past 4yrs when I had no body. I wonder if I can love them even though they don’t love me? Can my heart take it?” I thought to myself as I finished washing and once I was done I watched as Hisoka, who had stayed in the shower with me was still washing his hair. So, letting him closer to the shower head I grabbed one of the clean folded rags and started to wash his back for him.

“Hmm, first this morning and now you are helping with washing me? I feel quite spoiled.”

“Good, I have always been a physical person. I like to touch and feel the people I am with even if it is not sexual. That is why I have been trying to hold Illumi’s hand, to try and form a physical bond with him that does not involve violence. I like to pamper those that I care about as much as I can. Even if it is not sexual and the people are just my friends. That is why I really invited them to eat with us. I wanted them to know that I care. I also wanted to give Illumi the chance to be near his brother. Illumi, I want you to have a relationship with your brother that is healthy and one that has you both happy. You may think of it as prying but I think Killua could really use a big brother in the future, but for now you have to just be as you are.”

“And what exactly am I right now?”

“You are a big brother who puts family first not the individual first. Though, you still love them all in your own way.” I finished with Hisoka’s back and stepped out to dry off. 

“I don’t see the difference, the family is what we all strive to protect.”

“Yes, I guess my understanding of what I want in a family and what yours is are different. That’s okay though, it just means that is something else that you will have to think about.” I told him as I put my clothes on and waited for them to dress as well. 

Making a point not to look at Illumi as he dresses. We went to get a quick breakfast and I made sure to use the bathroom and take two rolls of toilet paper. As we got off of the airship a lot of the people were looking at me as I carried the cushions off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I don't remember if I said this anywhere but I don't own anything.


	5. Trick Tower and a Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make through the tower in the third exam like in the show. Once they reach the ground floor there will be a few games and a surprise at the end.

“So, which one of you am I going with?”

“Hmmm, that is a good question. Who do you want to go with?” Hisoka asked me as he leaned over me. 

“Well, if you’re okay with it I would like to go with you Gittarackur. I would like to have a chance to talk to you.”

“Very well, I will take you but Hisoka will be taking the cushions.”

“ What, why do I have to carry them.” Hisoka looked very put off causing me to laugh.

“ I don’t think Hisoka can cope with the handicap Gittarackur. You have to carry me the whole way but Hisoka can’t carry my cushions.” I chuckled a bit and walked over to stand by Illumi and Hisoka grumbled as he took them in one arm and started to walk away.

“Do I actually have to carry you the whole way?”

“I don’t know, they never told us what your tests were but you do have to hold me as we walk around the top of the tower. Though, I am not as fast a walker as you and if there are traps I have no confidence in my ability to save myself.”

“It would be best if I carry you then.” And with that he threw me over his shoulder again and started to walk around.

“You know, when we fall this is going to hurt right. I am honestly surprised that I have not bruised yet with as much as you have been throwing me around but you know I could go for a piggy back ride or being held like a princess and maybe so walking because being held like this for the next 6hrs doesn’t really sound like fun. Though, I guess you coming in third want to happen now that you have to carry me. Maybe fourth or fifth. I wonder if Hisoka will still come in first having to carry my pillows?”

“ You think that having to carry you will cause such a great handicap that I will become fourth or fifth to pass this test?”

“Will, I mean you will be going at a slower pace then before due to having to keep up with me so I wouldn’t be surprised if you dropped in rank of passing.”

“You are trying to push me into something.”

“I am trying to be held like a princess.” I said as he walked around with me on his shoulder.

We walked around for a bit and finally I felt the ground go out from under us as Illumi dropped down and I am surprised that I did not land hard on his shoulder like I was expecting. Instead, when I came down I was being held in his arms. Quite surprised with change in possession I smiled up at him before wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You know, when I was back in my world I would often admire your hair. It was one of the things that I have always loved about you and if you do decide to be in a relationship with me, one day I would like for the children we have to yours and Hisoka’s as well.”

“You say that as if you believe you are able to give birth to children.” 

“Yeah, I can, you see there is this hunter game called Greed island and on this island there is this thing that allows any user to be able to give birth. I figured, if for any time we wanted a new child we would just go to the island and use birth stone and come back once I was pregnant. I figured that with the facilities at the Zoldyck estate surely you all would have access to a doctor that would be able to cut the child out without harming any of my vitels. In my world, it’s called a c section and is very common.”

“It seems that you have put a lot of thought into this. I did not know that was something that could be done. It does also give me something to take into consideration since the Zoldyck line can still be continued.” I had to laugh a little at that. 

“Could you imagine leaving a Killua with the baby, I bet he would be a good uncle. Though, one of the things that I would incest on is that no assassin training until the child can consent to it and we have had a conversation about what can and can’t be done to them.”

It was silent from then on. I could feel Illumi running and every now and then an arm would move every now and then for what I could only assume would be to kill someone. He would stop every now and then to let me down to walk or stretch before picking me back up to keep going.

I did not try to look at anything going by in case I saw something I did not want to see. Finally, after a time we came to the door and Illumi walked through. Hearing the examiners voice coming over the come announcing that Illumi is the second to pass and I the third which surprised me. I was sure that we would have been later in the line up, that is why I had told Illumi a higher number when we had first started this. 

“Well, would you look at that, you got here faster than I thought you would. I thought you would be at least a few more hours. It looks like we have changed a few things after all. Did you have a good little date one your way down.” Hisoka said as stood up and came over to use, pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. He shoved me up against the wall near the door we came from.  
Not, missing a beat I wrapped my arms around him and so he could pick me up so I could wrap my legs around him as well. I ground myself around him, hands going straight into his hair. Once the need to breathe was too great I moved down to his neck, sliding down further, onto my knees. When I was about to reach for his pants another door opened and Hanzo came out shouting. I looked over to him from between Hisoka's legs.

“Well?”

“ I am not bashful, are you?”

“Well, it depends, did my cushions make it here with no damage?”  
“Well, there may be some blood on them, but no damage physically.” Hisoka said as his hands in my hair, tightening.

“In that case, I guess I'll get a snack before dinner.” When I started to reach into Hisoka’s pants I could hear Hanzo complaining and then I could hear the examiner coming over the intercom. Though, before I could get his pants loose Hisoka pulled me back by the hair of my head.

“I repeat if you have a sexual relation while in this exam I will expel you both.” The man coming over the intercom sounded angry. Giving a sigh, I looked upto Hisoka, pouting a little, before he helped me up.

“Well, if you don’t want me to fuck in front of everyone you better have a bathroom in this waiting room because I have not had the chance to use the bathroom all day.”

“Why you! There is a bathroom in the corner.” The voice was upset and sharp.

“Well, if you hold my bag for me, once I’m back I will make us a quick snack if they don’t give us anything.” I walked over to use the restroom. I was so relieved that there was a bathroom here. Once I got back out I saw Hisoka and Illumi were sitting by each other, my cushions were sitting between them. 

“Hey, examiner, will there be food provided or do we just sit here for the next three days?” I called out to the overhead cameras.

“There will be meals provided.” The intercom said as I walked over to sit between Illumi and Hisoka. 

“Well, when is the next meal? I haven’t had anything since this morning.”

“Well, you’re being so picky about it. Dinner is not until 6pm so you have about another 2.5 hours.”

“Alright, thanks, I’ll just eat a few of the dream eggs I have left then.” Once I sat down Illumi passed me my bag and I pulled a few of the dream eggs out of my bag, along with some of the pieces of pork that had been cut up into thin slices from the ham of the pig. Passing a few pieces to them both to snack on.  
“So, Hisoka, how was the fight against that hunter from last year? Did you have fun?”

“Oh, yes, it was quite fun indeed. Though, I was a little disappointed that he had a whole year and yet and no real improvement.” Hisoka said as he took a bite out of the egg.

“Or it could be that you are just too strong. Though, there will always be stronger people to fight. I just hope that I can be there when you die, cause one day, you will. When that happens, I’ll make sure that you are cared for.” I could not help but think of what I had read in the manga. Picking at my egg shell and trying not to cry.

“Hisoka, look what you've done. You have made him cry again. What is wrong with you?”

“Hey don’t cry now. We all will die some time so don’t pout like that. Come on, there has to be something that I can do to help you cheer up. We can play a game so cards if you would like.” I just shoved the rest of my egg in my mouth before falling into his lap.

“Why did I have to think about it? I always get so upset when I think about it. Losing them when I don’t even really know them. It drives me crazy. I only have a few years and that doesn’t even give me a chance to have them myselves, but I want them. I want all of them.” Setting up I straddled his waist and took his face in between my hands.

“Give me your baby before you die!” I called out loudly. This got a few cries of shock from the people that had made it through at this point and Hisoka’s eyes became wide as well before he burst out laughing.

“Well that certainly is not something that I expected.” Hisoka said in between bouts of laughter. 

“You are not allowed to die before giving me a baby. I don’t care if we keep this relationship going or not but you have to give me a baby before dying.” Hisoka just kept laughing louder and louder.

I could hear Hanzo complaining and I could tell Illumi was doing his own version of a smirk.Taking a deep breath I got back up and went back to the restroom, slamming the door on my way. This time I wanted to cry so bad because I really did not want to lose them, and not just once, but twice. Was I strong enough to do that? I sat in the bathroom crying for a bit and when I finally finished crying I washed my face off with cold water and just sat on the toilet for a few minutes letting myself cool down. Once I felt like I would not start crying againI went out and went straight to my two cushions and lay down holding onto Hisoka’s waist before trying to go to sleep. 

Waking up some time later wasn’t too bad I found myself wrapped around Hisoka’s waist but instead of off to the side I was curled around his legs. Resting there I just listen to the breathing of the people around me. The silence was nice though when Hisoka started to run his hands through my hair. Setting after some time I just crawled over to Illumi and rested my head on his legs, stretching my legs back out to make sure I was touching Hisoka as well. Then going back to sleep since there was nothing else to do.

Waking up this time I was still in Illumi’s lap but my legs had come to my chest as I slept. I looked around while still keeping my head in his lap seeing about nine people here now. Looking over my shoulder I could see Hisoka playing with his stake card tower. So getting up off of Illumi I draped myself over Hisoka who paused in his movement to place a card.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how mad would you be right now if I tried to know down the tower?”

“Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you want to be punished?” Hisoka asked as he slowly placed the second to last layer of the tower down.

“With this many people? Maybe a 4, but depending one how board I get that may increase. For now though, he only said no sex, he said nothing about now making out.” As I said this I ran my tongue over his ear lobe before biting it a little, this seemed to cause him stiffen.

“Now darling, I don’t plan on having to take these exams a third time.”

“Fine, want to play go fish?” I asked him. This made him get a funny look on his face. His nose scrunched up and his eyes narrowed.

“And what pray tell is going fish?” The way he asked it just made me laugh a little.

“Well each player gets five card then they go around in a circle asking the group if they have a card that person wants. The goal is to get either 3 of a kind or 4 of a kind. If someone already has 3 down and you have the 4th then you can play it off of them. The people who get asked for a card have to give them over if asked. The most points won. Besides, go fish, solitary, that 21 point game, and rummy are the only games that I know how to play. I think I get the basics of poker but not really. You should never let me gamble either, I literally have the worst luck with any type of game. I’m even worse than Leorio with paper, rock, sisorce.” This caused Hisoka to laugh once again.

“No thanks, that doesn’t sound very fun.”

“Haha, alright, but do you have another pack of cards that I can use?” I nibbled on his ear a little while he had time to think if he would let me use one. Finally, after a few minutes he took a pack of cards from his pocket and passed it to me. So I gave him a quick kiss on the ear before standing up and waving over to Hanzo.

“Hey, Hanzo, want to play a card game with me? Hisoka is being mean and wants to play! Amori brothers you should totally join!” As I talked I walked over to Hanzo and sat in front of him. He totally looked panicked making me chuckle to myself.

“Don’t work Hanzo, you don’t need to be scared of Hisoka. He doesn’t like my game. He would rather build his card tower.” 

“I would love to but you see I haven’t played a lot of card games so I’m sure it would be boring to play with me you should just play with the Amori brothers since you called them over as well.” I really was going to burst out laughing from his panic. He kept looking behind me to Hisoka and Illumi.

“Now don’t worry about not knowing how to play. I haven’t played this game in about 8 or 9 years so it's good. Amori, Imori, Umori you three should come play too. You guys look easy enough for Hanzo to beat, right Hanzo?”

“What, no, I didn’t say that!”

“Oh, so you don’t want them to play because you're scared that you’ll lose? Wow, I thought as a ninja you would be able to easily beat us all. I guess being a ninja isn’t as amazing as I thought it would be. I’m kind of disappointed.”

“What, no I could win if I wanted! I shall conquer any and all obstacles in my way!!”

“But you're too scared to play a child's game against them.”

“I’m not scared of anything!”

“Except playing a child's game against them. I mean, I guess their makeup and having to fight 3 on 1 can be scary. I guess I just had higher expectations of ninja.” I started to stand up when Hanzo grabbed my arm.

“Fine, I’ll play them and I will win. However, know that I do this for the honor of all ninja’s and not because of anything you said.”  
“Great, you hear that boys, Hanzo is going to win! So, you should totally come play so I don’t feel as bad when I lose.”

“What, you think just because you have a flashy outfit that you can beat us! We are the Amori brothers and no one can beat us when we work together.”

“Wow, that's great! How about to sweeten the pot. The best two out of three can have one of the Dream eggs that I have left.” At that I could see Umori perk up. I guess food really is the best incentive. I passed the cards over to Hanzo and went to get the prize from my bag and one of my cushions, taking them back to set.

“So, I don’t know if you have the game here, but it’s a 5 card hand. You can set at 3 of a kind and play off of someone else's card. The rule is first person will call out a card and if you have the card you have to hand it over. Jacks up 10 points lower is 5 Hanzo to deal first.” We played a few hands to pass the time. I was surprised though when umori won the best 2 out of 3 and got the egg. I even gave him a high five for it. Poor Hanzo though was just as bad at games as me. After a few hours a door opened and prisoners came out carrying food out to everyone so I took the cards back promising another game later.

“Did you have fun meeting the enemy?” Hisoka asked as I sat down on my cushions.

“They’re not my enemy. They may see me as theirs but I honestly just want to get along with them. Hanzo will have a lot of growth in the future. Probably not as much as Killua or Gon, but he will do really well in the future.”

“Oh, then maybe I should keep an eye on him as well?”

“You can if you want, but his growth will not be as much a Gon or Killua. Though, that does remind me of a question for you both. I really want to tell you the things that are going to happen but I don’t know if doing that will cause you to change what happens. So things would be good to change and some not, but also there are some that I want to change, that you would not. I am so confused about what I should do. I want to change things but I am afraid to.”

“Well let’s what is the closest thing that is going to happen that you would like to change?” Illumi asked.

“The closest thing I want to change isn’t something that I can do and I don’t think it would be something that you would want to do either.”

“You do not truly know us so you would not know until you spoke of it.” Gittarackur's head was babbling back and forth as he ate and his voice was low. Others seemed to be trying to avoid looking our way. So not wanting to be too loud I rested my head on his shoulder.

“The needle, I want to remove it. I want him to be able to be around his family without hating you all. The youngest in your family is desperate to have him back and that list of bad choices is a whole other ball game, but the point is I want him to be able to like seeing his family and not hating them. It may take time but he is a good boy.” I could feel Illumi going stiff under my head at the word needle and he would not like it. So breathing out a sigh I sat back up to eat.

“Well, after that silence I can’t wait to see what you have for me. What's my next thing?” Hisoka asked as he joined back into the conversation.

“There is nothing that I would want to tell you not to do at least not for a while at least. I would like it if I didn’t have to watch you get your arms cut off but I’m not going to tell you to change your fighting style just because I don’t like thinking of you getting hurt.”

“Oh and pray tell who plans to take my arms?”

“No one plans to take your arms. You offer them up willingly, though it is a good fight if that helps, and you do have a very talented nen user waiting for you but still.” Once we are finished eating we return our trays to the carts. I played a few hands of solitary before turning to prop my head up on my arms and my legs on the wall.

“Taking a nap sounds like the only thing I can do for now.”

Closing my eyes to relax I focused on my breath. In, out, in, out, and I must have fallen to sleep because the next thing I know my alarm is going off. Rolling over I see my cell phone flashing at 5am and blaring an air raid alarm. Jumping up quickly I look around and I am back in my room. I check my pants quickly and sure enough I cum all in my pajamas. Getting up to shower before work so I could be off I think back to my dream.  
“It just felt so real.”


	6. Was it A Dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler since I was busy this week but still wanted to get something quick out.

Getting out of my shower I feel a little disoriented. I had vivid wet dreams before but never like that. So much time had passed and I had felt the pain from my pinches. Getting dressed I went to my work from home set up to get my day started and messaged my friend on discord to see how their night shift went before they go to bed for the day. Telling her about my dream we weeb out for a bit before she had to go to sleep.

The work day was long and exhausting, so many angry bitches calling in the only plus side I didn’t have a roommate so I would be revisiting my thoughts on my two favorite men. Once work was over I decided that my dream was a sign to watch Hunter X Hunter again even though I just watched all the episodes before watching two movies I had gotten. Watching them for the hundredth time did nothing to curb my interest and seeing Hisoka and Illumi going through the show kind of made me sad. 

Missing my to killers and I decided to go get my snack so I would not have to get back up unless it was to use the bathroom. By the time I got back Gon was cooking his pig and as the camera swiped to show the other people in the exam I saw me, will that worlds me. Choking on the tea I had. So, I went back a few to the episode where we were all in the basement and sure enough I was in the corner about to be killed by Illumi.

Jumping up I rewatch it a few times before taking a picture of it and texting it to my friend to see if she recognises this from when she had watched it with me or if it was new. After waiting about an hour she finally got back to me that it looked the same as when she remembers watching it. So, deciding to keep watching I noticed that after the tower I am no longer showing up. Whether that meant that I was dead or just not an important enough character to be shown, I don’t know.

Freaking out I ran to my kitchen getting out my night quill and running back to my room taking just a little more than needed and started to recall what had happened so far like it was a store to get into the right mindset to hopefully make it into the HXH world. Tossing and turning throughout the night I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I know I am waking up back in my bed again, to the same alarm as always. Depressed about not being able to see Illumi or Hisoka again. 

Falling back into the everyday routine I kept up with my day job during the day but every night I watched the HXH exam season to see if I could spot myself in anymore episodes before going onto the rest of the seasons, I finally gave up after about a month. Doing nothing but work, eat, watch HXH, sleep on rinse and repeat the whole time.   
Starting to think I was imagining it and after the first time I had brought it up with my friends for it to be discounted as a dream by them as well. I felt like I was going to go mad, so falling to sleep at night became an anxiety point for me and nightquil became my best friend. However, by this point I have used the 2 hole bottles I had on hand and am having to fight myself to sleep. I am considering going back to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO I DO NOT OWN HUNTER X HUNTER!! Wish i did!


	7. I am Back, am I Crazy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little panic and bondage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but OC.

Waking up has been getting harder and harder for me. Not hearing my alarm I decided to just stay in bed and crull into my pillows. Feelling around for them I noticed that I did not have a blanket on cause I was cold. I rubbed my face into my pillow and noticed that it was also harder than it should be. So, releasing a sigh I crack my eye open to see what was going on. Looking around I could see other people setting around the room back in the third part of the hunter exam. 

Setting up quickly I looked around and I could see that Hisoka and Illumi were both looking at me. I guess I had surprised them with getting up so quickly. Seeing that Gon and party have not gotten here yet I looked back to both Illumi and Hisoka before I started to cry. Jumping on them both and pulling them into an awkward three way hug. They both looked the other way and did not look happy as I ugly cried on them.

After a few minutes I heard the sound of a door open and I looked over to see Gon coming down the slide, the others following after him. Quickly I pulled out the cloth from my bag and whipped my face before blowing my nose as well. Both Hisoka and Illumi looked like they wanted to run away but I latched on to them before they could escape. The examiners came over the speakers and the front doors opened.

“Would you mind releasing us, it would seem like the next phase has begun.” Illumi said as people started to move outside to the next part.

“No, I am never letting either of you go again. How long have I even been asleep? I dreamed I was back in my world for a month and I was so lonely without you both. I thought I was going crazy.” I buried my head into Hisoka’s arm since his clothes didn’t have the metal on them.  
“You were out for about 53 hours. Though, I do not see why returning home would be a bad thing.”

“Of course you wouldn’t, I was back in a place that I hate all alone and stuck doing work that allowed people to scream and curse at me all day. The only thing that I am allowed to say to them is thank you and have a great day. The money sucks and where I come from our world is in a pandemic so we can’t safely leave our home. Our government has gone to shit, our president is out to kill some of our citizens for their genders or sexual orientation. I am too scared to go outside sometime.  
Being here even with you two wanting to kill me is better then their. I was going to go put myself in a 30day evaluation if it had kept up. I just couldn’t stand it anymore.” At this point I was holding them both really tight, well as tight as I could and when Hisoka had to go get his number I almost didn’t let him go.

I did follow Illumi though since I was after him. Grabbing my card and pulling Illumi back to where Hisoka was at before also taking his arms again. Once we were told to look at our numbers and go over the rules before getting everyone one the boat.

After about an hour I finally let them go to look at my card and thankful that it was 199 and not any of the people I cared about. I passed the card to Illumi before taking off my badge and calling out to get everyone's attention. Once enough people were looking at me I pinned my badge to Hisoka before going back to being a clingy koala. Holding onto both of them as tight as I could. I could feel Illumi and Hisoka having a silent conversation over my head.

“You do know at some point you are going to have to let us go right darling? You can’t keep holding us through the whole exam, you know we have people to kill, right.” Hisoka asked as he took my face in his hand that I was not currently clinging to.  
“I know, I am not happy about it. I just don’t want to let go, if I do I may wake up. You both will be gone.” I held them tighter, anxiety showing its ugly head in my dream world .

“Ahh.” I gasped in surprise as Illumi pulled me in for a kiss. I was so surprised I forgot how to breath. Illumi’s kisses were slow at first but as soon as I thought I had his rhythm down he would change it until finally I had to pull back to breath. Gasping for air, my head was quickly pulled back to Hisoka this time and he repeated the process. His kisses were stronger and more demanding than Illumi’s. Once again I am kissed breathless and as I am released to breath I find myself sitting in Illumi’s lap and Hisoka towering over me, boxing me in from the other applicants.

“Tell us what you need to calm down?” Hisoka said in a firm tone which drew all my focus back onto him.

“What do I need? I need a therapist to tell me this is real. That is my life from now on and I want me going back to the literal hell that is my last world. I need to focus and be here, not in my head and not afraid. I need proof that this is real that way if for some reason I did go back I would know that this was real. I and cum in my pants last time so maybe a mark on my body? I can’t get a tattoo or anything in the middle of the ocean. What?” 

“I need to be marked, I will probably cry like a baby but I need you both to leave a mark on me so that if I do whined up back there I will still have it. I had cum in my pants the last time, so my body must be carrying over.”

“As much as I would love to shed some over your lovely blood for the trouble you have caused so far I doubt the judges will get me get away with that here.”

“My bag, the washcloth in it. Tear a strip off and tie a few tight strips around my wrist. Not too tight though.”

“I think I can manage that.” With the last word that left Hisoka’s mouth I was pulled back into a kiss with Illumi. I knew he was just keeping me distracted as Hisoka worked. I could feel the cloth wrapped around my wrist and Illumi just held my head head up, chin out as Hisoka kissed me.

Once they were done I was pulled fully into Illumi once again. This time I was being held tightly and not being let up. I looked from him to Hisoka to see that they were both looking out to the rest of the boat.

“I take it they did not like our little show?”

“No, I don’t think they did but we did not do anything sexual really other than kissing so they couldn’t really say anything.” This caused my face to go red remembering that Kurapika and Leorio were on this side of the boat but thankful Gon and Killua were not.

“I thank I feel better, I want to go see the kiddies.” I looked up the Illumi seeing if he would let me go or not. I seem to take him a minute to consider before his arms are lifted to let me up. I crawled off his lap and chest, straightening my clothes. I took a deep breath and looked back at them before walking in the direction I knew Gon and Killua were in.

“Hey, you two, are you talking strategy about your opponents?” I asked them as I walked up to them and sat in front of them.

“Yeah, we… hey are you okay? Your eyes are really red.” Gon asked once really looked at me. This caused me to blush.

“How do you explain anxiety and depression to a cinnamon roll, let alone BDSM?” I imagined pulling my hair out as I smiled down at him.

“Well, you see, before you and your friend came out of your door I had a really bad dream. It scared me a lot so when I woke up I was sad and really lonely. When this happens I forget that I have friends. So Hisoka and Gittarackur tied these one me so that if I got lonely again I could just feel the cloth and it would remind me of them. I think they are finally coming around to being in a relationship with me.” I could totally tell that Killua understood the meaning behind them.

“Wow, that is really nice of them. I guess I never thought of them that way.” Gon looked confused and also torn between two different thoughts.

“Don’t misunderstand, they both can be very mean and are super strong. I am sure that they both can be terrible people and if you have either of their numbers I am going to stress that you be careful, but go for it with all that you got. You want to grow stronger right, so you are going to have to face harder opponents sometimes. Just make sure that you are taking care of yourselves and have as much fun as you can.” I told them before taking a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” 

“No, I am starting to feel kind of lonely. Do you two think I can get a big hug?” I asked Gon and he jumped straight up to give me a hug. It took a minute but Killua finally came over as well when Gon sent him a questioning look. I made sure to hold them tight for a long time. Killua seemed to feel awkward if his twitching was anything to go by. Gon though just sagged and held on so I finally let them go.

“Oh if either of you got numbers 198 or 199, those are the three brother and I have to get 197 so if you get to it first please save it for me.” I said, waving goodbye I could see Killua get a serious look on his face. So, I moved on to Kurapika and Leorio. They both looked like kids that just saw their parents kissing.

“Hey, I was just checking in on Gon and Killua after my breakdown so I decided to come check on you both as well. Do you both know who your opponent is? I remembered almost everyone's number as they made it through the last exam.” Kurapika just shook his head but Leorio got a funny look on his face.

“If you are worried that I have your card don’t worry about it. After my little mental breakdown that I had back in the last exam I gave my card, 199 to Gittarackur for him to get for me.” Leorio released before showing me his card number.

Seeing that it was still the same women I recommended that they wait till the last day because of the poisons that she used. This way if something were to happen to them the hunter committee would be able to come save them at the end of the week as long as they had their badges on them. Also warning them that I had seen her card as I was walking around the ship and had seen that it was the snake charmer so they needed to be careful because both of them were people more than likely to set traps.

Once I was done talking to them I headed back to Illumi and Hisoka to rest. As I walked I noticed quite a few of the other people looking away from me or giving me dirty looks. Once I reached them I sat in between Illumi’s legs,laying my back to his chest. Reaching over I took Hisoka’s hand and pulled him closer.

“197 can’t die here, he helps Killua learn a lesson in the future and Hisoka, your guy is the one with the big blow gun but you can’t hunt him until later.” I crawled into as tight of a ball as I could and still kept contact with both of them just drifting in and out of awareness.

When the lady called for everyone to exit in the order that we came I held each of them for a tense moment until I watched Hisoka walk off the boat and stand to the side. That is when I realized he was waiting. Then Gittarackur was called and he kept walking but Hisoka just waited. Finally, when it was my turn I ran off the boat and straight to cling to Hisoka’s side. 

“What should I call you and Illumi?” I ask Hisoka as we walk through the forest to what I am assuming to be the open area from before. He looked down at me with a confused look.

“I thought you would just call us by our names but if you want something else we can think about it.”

“That is not what I meant and you know it.” 

“What would you call us in your world and I’ll tell you if it’s the same.”

“Partners, I couldn’t really care what you call me. I just need something to confirm that we are in an actual relationship.”

“Partners work just fine with me, Illumi shouldn’t have a problem with it either if he officially agrees.” We walked for a bit more silence.

“Do you think the people following us will let us do anything at all?” I asked as I held him closer to me.

“ I highly doubt it. Though I am surprised that you can sense them, they are doing very well in hiding where they are.”

“ I can’t, I just know that they are there and will follow us wherever we go.” 

“Hummmm, I wonder if they would be any good in a fight?”

“No, not really Illumi will kill one later and you look utterly unimpressed.” 

“ That is just no fun.”

“How is your side and shoulder doing?”

“They don’t bother me and any bleeding has stopped.”

“Is it safe to start a fire later? I was going to check for some firewood but I just realized I don’t know if it is safe or not. Also, I’m not one hundred percent sure I can even start a fire.”

“It should be fine, if anyone wants to come then I’ll look forward to killing them.” With that said we walked into a clearing with the tree and Hisoka sat down just like in the movies so I started looking around the edges of the cleaning for small sticks and other things that would burn well.

“I wonder if Illumi will join us tonight or if he will be gone until he has all the points needed.”

“He will probably not come until he has all of his points.”

“I guess I’ll just make enough for the both of us then.” Deciding to go through my bag to see what I had in it since it had been about a month since I have been in this body.

I found the knives, the egg, the dried ingredients form before and lastly the pork that I had cooked through. Testing to see if the food was still good and thankful I had taken a small pot for cooking for the second exam. Once I had sorted my stuff and put it all back into my bag with nothing else to do I went to sit in Hisoka’s lap again. I couldn’t help but think of the dream or dimensional transfer thing. The month being back in my ‘real world’ versus this, I never want to go back.

The more I thought about it the tighter I clung to Hisoka. He never stopped doing his card tricks the whole time though. He would make the card appear and disappear with a flick of his wrist. After some time watching him it reminded me that it was his nen that made his cards as sharp as they are.

“Hey, do you think you could teach me nen? I was going to wait and just meet with the nen master at heavens arena to convince him to teach me but we have a whole week of no sex stuff. So why not?” Hisoka looked down at me for a minute like he was thinking before he stood up causing me to fall off his lap and onto the ground.

“If I am going to teach you nen I need to know where you stand physically. Run around the clearing until your legs are jello and you can no longer walk.”

“What… you're not serious are you? My physical form is like at 0 why do I need to run?” I looked up at him and I must have had the most pouty face ever because he looked very unimpressed.

“Run until you can’t anymore. Once you finish we will move on to arm strength. You can think of this as a punishment for having Illumi get your number for you. I can’t really do a lot with the others watching so carving my marks into you want work. Instead I am going to push your body past its limits and learn all kinds of fun things about your body.” I think he says stuff in his mysterious/ slutty voice just to make me horny.

“I don’t even think a boner now is going to make this any easier.” He just chucked at me before taking my hand to leave me up before going to set back down himself and waving me off to start.

Running in the circle was not fun, it was more like a fast jog at the beginning then turning into a fast walk. Needless to say every time I looked over to Hisoka he was still unimpressed. This only lasted for about twenty minutes before I clapped and rolled onto my back gasping for air. Laying there looking up at the sky I was ready to give up if this is what it took to gain nen. Then again getting to Greed Island requires nen so if I want one of those pregnancy stones I need to learn it. I really want to be these men’s baby mama and rub it into Kikyo’s face that I am a better mom then she is.

“I am a petty bitch.” I thought to myself as I caught movement from my side.

“Well, that was quite sad I will say. Definitely going to need to improve on your stamina. Let’s see if your arm can do any better. There are no weights here so let’s have you do some push ups. If you can’t use your legs from knees down that is fine. Do them in sets of ten.”

“Can’t we say my arms are worse then my legs and start at like -2 for arm strength?” I was willing to beg at this point but he just called out the number one and when I tried to protest he just repeated the number one until I started to do push ups. I only made it to a measly 15 push ups before dying on him. Just laying on the ground panting as he stood over me.

“Yes, a lot of work, but don’t worry there is a gym on my floor that we can use.” I just looked up at him with the saddest face I could muster.

“Can’t we just have a lot of really hard marathon worthy sex and call that my excersize? That way we both get what we want?” This just caused him to laugh at me.

“I am sure that we can fit it into your schedule somewhere.” I can’t believe I love this crazy person who wants me to work out with him. I deserve all the pain because I brought this onto myself.

“Can’t I just stay the squishy pillow that I am? Actually… where are my cushions?” I asked, looking around I don’t remember getting them off of the boat.

“It would seem that they are still on the boat. Oh well I am sure we can get by without them.” And there went the last positive for my day. I rolled to my side to just relax and maybe take a nap because he was right, my body was killing me.

Too exhausted to fight sleep I felt everything go black. Stirring some time later I looked around and I saw that I was still in the HXH. Breathing a sigh of relief.


End file.
